10 ESSENTIAL FUN FACTS ABOUT ALCOHOL

THE FUNNY TRUTH ABOUT YOUR
FAVORITE POISON: BOOZE!
BY MAX PINGEL

Let’s face it! A friday night at the club without booze is only half the fun…if any at all! We’ve all been the designated driver once and we all know how much it sucks! Hence, we like to reward ourselves with a good old Gin Tonic, Appletini or even just a refreshing brew! Alcohol has more magic powers & dirty secrets than you’d know! So next time someone tries to give you a speech on your unhealthy alcoholic lifestyle, here’s a few fun facts to shut down your haters!

"1. You can survive on alcohol alone for more than three months!"

Suck on that ultra healthy Vegan Fascists!

"2. Beer was not considered an alcoholic Beverage in Russia until 2013"

No wonder: In a country that consumes 13 litres/capita of pure alcohol every year - Beer tastes like water to the Russian Vodka-Lovers!

"3. Russia isn't the booziest place on earth - It's South Korea!?"

Who would have thought, but no other country consumes more hard spirits than South Korea. What else are you gonna do with a neighbor like Kim Jong Un?!

"4. There are 13 minerals that are essential for human life, and all of them can be found in alcohol"

So we finally found the key to eternal life…!?

"5. People with Blue Eyes have a higher alcohol tolerance!"

Now we know what Fred Durst was looking for behind blue eyes...

"6. In the Middle Ages Beer was consumed more than water as the Alcohol made it safer!"

Also they clinked glasses so hard that their contents mixed to prevent getting poisoned - Safety first, my friends!

"7. Diet mixers get you more drunk."

According to a study in 2013, drinks mixed with diet pop get you 18% drunker than the regular version. Full-sugar drinks are recognized as food by your body, slowing down the alcohol absorption. Now THAT'S my kinda diet!

"8. In the UK it is legal for kids over 5 years old to drink alcohol at home or on other private premises."

I knew it - To become a master, you have to start young!

"9. Wanting to get drunk is natural!"

The so-called "Drunken Monkey" theory states that homo sapiens always had a high dependance on fruit as a food source. The surprising part though: Genetically most attractive to our hairy ancestors were overripe fruits, which contain ethanol…that is? You're right! Alcohol! Aren't we just all victims of mother nature?

"10. The King of Prussia, Frederick the Great, tried to ban coffee so that more people would drink alcohol. "

Now that's my kinda leader! That being said: Enjoy your week, weekend or vacation! It's always shot o'clock somewhere! Cheers!